Advt. walls in india

This is the cow........

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.]

He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment


What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.  
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species., Also his
other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun..Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is
incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child..This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity
forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side.. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch..So the
grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.
This is the cow........

50th wedding anniversary

A man talking to his friend about what to do for his 50th wedding
anniversary. The friend asked, "What did you do for your 25th?"

He said, "I took my wife to Hawaii."

The friend then asked, "What are you thinking about for your 50th?"

He said, "Well I was thinking of bringing her back."

Finding Jesus

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a
preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water
and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is
almost overcome by the smell of booze. But, he still manages to ask the
drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes,I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and
asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again but for
a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks
again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the
water again --- but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up.
The preacher asked the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you found
Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

men and women

  I never quite figured out :
  
  why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. 
  the whole Venus  and Mars thing.
why men think with their head and women with their heart.
 
FOR EXAMPLE:

  
    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into  bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
 
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
 
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just  love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
 
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch  and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I  told her we'll  just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
 
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I  was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't  even  know how to play tennis.
 
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
 
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction  from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally  said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't  feel  like  it."
 
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a  baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want  you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're  just not in touch  with  my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your  shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this looklike she was going to kill me, I added,   "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Clever :)

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in


  and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"

  The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks
  over

  and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"

  Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"

  The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

  And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14
  million

  Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

  And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

  Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you
  no-one
  would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

Musharraf

  Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

  Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my

  condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many
  people,  such great bldgs...

  I would like to ensure that we had nothing in
  connection  with that........

  Bush: What buildings? What people??

  Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

  Bush: It's eight in the morning.

  Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

My Resolution for the new year !!!!

My Resolution for New Year – 1024 by 768 pixels!!!!!!
 
What's yours???