RAM ON RAM SETHUThe Lord RAM surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, how diligently andstrenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several
centuries back. It is remarkable that it has withstood the ravages of the climatic
and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat
especially considering the fact that a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon usinglatest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick theposters on its pillars."Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your
grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea
and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever
used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now."
Ram spoke "Well, Hanuman some people down there want to demolish the
bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lot of money and lot of money
will be made. They will make money on demolition and make more money on
construction. " Hanuman humbly bowed down and said "Why not we go down andpresent our case"
Ram said "Times have changed since we were down there. They will ask us to
submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school
leaving certificate. We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock
carts and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the
address proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself
under litigation for over half a century, If I go in a traditional
attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun
Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer a seat at IIT
under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot walk in dressed in a
three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees
suspicious. So it is dilemma so to say."
"I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the bridge."
"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the
lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the
project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted
without documentary evidence in India. You may cough but unless a doctor
certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself
personally but the authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a
life-certificate to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated. "
"Lord can't understand these historians. Over the years you have given
darshan once every hundred years to sai nts like Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint
Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still
they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only
option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records
straight once for all."
Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive that he may
look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke to his mama
Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was in theforest and he said that he won't take a chance of stepping on earth
as long as Salman Khan is around."
Take care cause I care for you
Monday, November 19, 2007
Re: RAM ON RAM SETHU
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Parachuter
On our first day of training for a charity parachute jump, the instructor made an important point.
"Start preparing for landing when you're at 300 feet."
One student asked, "How do you know when you're at 300 feet"?
"A good question. At 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
She thought about this for a moment before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know"?
The Will
A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased's family.
"To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2 million."
The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well, you are wrong. Hi Dan!"
leepy student
There is "one" sleepy student in the picture,
Spot and win a trip to Hongkong (air fare, hotel accommodation and pocket money for free!!)
Spot and win a trip to Hongkong (air fare, hotel accommodation and pocket money for free!!)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Management Theory :: "Thats Intelligence"
The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Optical illusion
This little animation is fast becoming very popular – and no wonder: when you first look at the spinning girl, her rotation is probably clockwise. But if you start to concentrate on her shadow instead, suddenly her rotation switches to counter-clockwise! It may take some time, but the moment it happens, you are going to be genuinely surprised…
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Top 10 Languages Spoken in the World !!
The top 10 languages spoken in the world
10. French -- Number of speakers: 129 million
Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries, including Belgium, Canada , Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. We're actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!).
To say "hello" in French, say "Bonjour" (bone-JOOR).
9. Malay—Indonesian Number of speakers: 159 million
Malay-Indonesian is spoken - surprise - in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But they're all pretty much based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world.Indonesia is a fascinating place; a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala Lumpur.
To say "hello" in Indonesian, say "Selamat pagi" (se-LA-maht PA-gee).
8. Portuguese -- Number of speakers: 191 million
Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named "Prince Henry the Navigator" became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself all over the world, especially in Brazil (where it's the national language), Macau, Angola, Venezuela, and Mozambique.
To say "hello" in Portuguese, say "Bom dia" (bohn DEE-ah).
7. Bengali -- Number of speakers: 211 million
In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect.
To say "hello" in Bengali, say "Ei Je" (EYE-jay).
6. Arabic -- Number of speakers: 246 million
Arabic, one of the world's oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the Koran, millions of Moslems in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official language of the United Nations.
To say "hello" in Arabic, say "Al salaam a'alaykum" (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom) .
5. Russian -- Number of speakers: 277 million
Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure, we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S. (to name just a few places).
To say "hello" in Russian, say "Zdravstvuite" (ZDRAST-vet- yah).
4. Spanish -- Number of speakers: 392 million
Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme.
To say "hello" in Spanish, say "Hola" (OH-la).
3. Hindustani -- Number of speakers: 497 million
Hindustani is the primary language of India's crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the world. If you're interested in learning a little Hindi, there's a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry in India is the most prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year.
To say "hello" in Hindustani, say "Namaste" (Nah-MAH-stay) .
2. English -- Number of speakers: 508 million
While English doesn't have the most speakers, it is the official language of more countries than any other language. Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South Africa, and Canada. We'd tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with the language already. Let's just move on to the most popular language in the world.
To say "hello" in English, say "What's up, freak?" (watz-UP-freek) .
1. Mandarin -- Number of speakers: 1 billion+
Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but don't let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or "tones"), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people could do it, so could you. Try saying hello!
To say "hello" in Mandarin, say "Ni hao" (Nee HaOW). ("Hao" is pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the end.)
10. French -- Number of speakers: 129 million
Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries, including Belgium, Canada , Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. We're actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!).
To say "hello" in French, say "Bonjour" (bone-JOOR).
9. Malay—Indonesian Number of speakers: 159 million
Malay-Indonesian is spoken - surprise - in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But they're all pretty much based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world.Indonesia is a fascinating place; a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala Lumpur.
To say "hello" in Indonesian, say "Selamat pagi" (se-LA-maht PA-gee).
8. Portuguese -- Number of speakers: 191 million
Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named "Prince Henry the Navigator" became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself all over the world, especially in Brazil (where it's the national language), Macau, Angola, Venezuela, and Mozambique.
To say "hello" in Portuguese, say "Bom dia" (bohn DEE-ah).
7. Bengali -- Number of speakers: 211 million
In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect.
To say "hello" in Bengali, say "Ei Je" (EYE-jay).
6. Arabic -- Number of speakers: 246 million
Arabic, one of the world's oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the Koran, millions of Moslems in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official language of the United Nations.
To say "hello" in Arabic, say "Al salaam a'alaykum" (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom) .
5. Russian -- Number of speakers: 277 million
Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure, we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S. (to name just a few places).
To say "hello" in Russian, say "Zdravstvuite" (ZDRAST-vet- yah).
4. Spanish -- Number of speakers: 392 million
Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme.
To say "hello" in Spanish, say "Hola" (OH-la).
3. Hindustani -- Number of speakers: 497 million
Hindustani is the primary language of India's crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the world. If you're interested in learning a little Hindi, there's a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry in India is the most prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year.
To say "hello" in Hindustani, say "Namaste" (Nah-MAH-stay) .
2. English -- Number of speakers: 508 million
While English doesn't have the most speakers, it is the official language of more countries than any other language. Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South Africa, and Canada. We'd tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with the language already. Let's just move on to the most popular language in the world.
To say "hello" in English, say "What's up, freak?" (watz-UP-freek) .
1. Mandarin -- Number of speakers: 1 billion+
Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but don't let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or "tones"), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people could do it, so could you. Try saying hello!
To say "hello" in Mandarin, say "Ni hao" (Nee HaOW). ("Hao" is pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the end.)
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Ab meri baari.
Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town.
That meant, as a customer service represetative for the electric
company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left.
When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was
told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck,
not in an envelope."
That meant, as a customer service represetative for the electric
company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left.
When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address, he was
told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck,
not in an envelope."
Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Ab meri baari.
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having
all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a
mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The
headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't
been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and
carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right
back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the
bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife.
She's not my wife!"
all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a
mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The
headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't
been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the
hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and
carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right
back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the
bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife.
She's not my wife!"
Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Ab meri baari.
GOD LOVES BLONDES ANYWAY
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays.
"My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket."
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays.
"My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...
"Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket."
Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Re: [LIKELY JUNK]Ab meri baari.
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by
shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I
thought my face would look horrible, then I put it
in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get
my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear
and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so
I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by
shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I
thought my face would look horrible, then I put it
in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get
my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear
and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so
I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Dont mess with woman
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely! "This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police
Bheja Fry questions.
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
- Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
- If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Whats a question with no answer called?
- Why is a square meal served on round plates?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?
- If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
- Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
- Can you cry under water?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die
Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die
This sounds like as good advice as don't rent a casket when you die. It's not just the government... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening,customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: "So what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau , maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
( Lawyer nfo given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
This sounds like as good advice as don't rent a casket when you die. It's not just the government... Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening,customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: "So what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau , maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
( Lawyer nfo given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Hypnotist..........
It was opening night at the Orpheum theater and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff.
As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, ''Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.''
The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.
''I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations.''
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, ''Watch the watch , watch the watch, watch the watch.... ''.
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
''Sh*t'' said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theatre. ...
Monday, March 26, 2007
See any difference ?
See any difference between the two pics??
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In my opinion, the second pic is better!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Equations
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
if Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
if, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
if Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
if, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Some people are just plain lucky
Some people are just plain lucky. Click the photo below to see the video.
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