FREE Mein DEKHO Bunti Aur Babli..... meri taraf se ek PJ..........

 

 

BUN.....................................................................TEA..........Aur......................BABLI  

Innovative ideas for suicides-NJOY!!

 Innovative ideas for suicides! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mathematical Brilliance ....

Sardar

I was standing at jalandhar station when my attention went towards a Sikh
youth standing near me wearing a Black turban having a long beard and
wearing a kirpan over his shirt looking similar to a terrorist.

After a while, one local train arrived, which was totally packed. The Sikh
youth tried to alight the train but failed to do so. Just then a voice was
heard from the back coach 'Sardarji Barah Baj gaye' (Sir it's 12 o'clock!)

The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young Mischievous
type of person and instead of showing any anger made a smile towards him.

The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of truth lies
behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked towards him and asked
why did he smile at that person who teased him.* **The Sikh youth replied,
'He was not teasing me but was asking for my Help'*. I was surprised with
these words and he told me that there was a big history behind that which
one should know. I was eager to know the History and the Sikh youth
narrated:

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the Hindu
people were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals treated the
Hindu women as there own property and were forcing all Hindus to accept
Islam and even used to kill the people if they were refusing to
accept.Thattime, our ninth Guru, Sri Guru Teg Bahadarji came
forward,in response to a
request of some Kashmir Pandits to fight against all these cruel activities.
Guruji told the Mughal emperor that if he could succeed in converting him to
Islam, all the Hindus would accept the same.

But, if he failed, he should stop all those activities . The Mughal emperor
happily agreed to that but even after lots of torture to Guruji and his
fellow members he failed to convert him to Islam and Guruji along with his
other four fellow members, were tortured and sacrificed their lives in
Chandni Chowk. Since the Mughals were unable to convert them to Islam they
were assassinated.

Thus Guruji sacrificed his life for the protection of Hindu religion. Can
anybody lay down his life and that too for the protection of another
religion? This is the reason he is still remembered* **as "Hind Ki Chaddar"*,
shield of India. For the sake of whom he had sacrificed his life, none of
the them came forward to lift his body, fearing that they would also be
assassinated

Seeing this incident our 10th Guruji, Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru
Teg Bahadarji) founder of khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his
followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves and
could be easily located in thousands. At the start, the Sikhs were very few
in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal emperors. At that time,
Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 and looted Hindustan and was
carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and nearly 2200 Hindu women along with
him. The news spread like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was
the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir
Shah's Kafila on the same midnight. He did so and rescued all the Hindu
women and they were safely sent to their homes.

It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis
had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and
Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army
although fewer in numbers but were brave hearted and attacked them at
midnight,12 O'clock and rescued women.

After that time when there occurred a similar incidence, people started to
contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's
at Midnight, 12 O'clock.* **Nowadays, these "smart people" and some Sikh
enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have spread these words that at 12 O'clock,
the Sikhs **go out of their senses*. This historic fact was the reason which
made me smile over that person as I thought that his Mother or Sister would
be in trouble and wants my help and was reminding me by saying off 'Sardarji
Barah Baj Gaye'

LATEST NEWS FLASH..... Zimbabwe Cricket is history

Reuters News Agency

According to news agencies, the whole Zimbabwean team is going to resign at
the end of the current series. No international cricket will be played by
or in Zimbabwe after the current test series is over. The Zimbabwe Cricket
Union (ZCU) will also be dissolved. Zimbabwean cricket captain Tatenda
Taibu and senior member Heath Streak were unable for comment when contacted
by Reuters. President of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe described the decision to
dissolve ZCU as "a sad day for Zimbabwe cricket". When asked about the
reason for the action, President Mugabe said "It is a great loss for the
country of Zimbabwe. Not only the cricket team, but the entire nation is
demoralized. We could have easily continued playing cricket after losing to
any country in the world, but the shock of watching India's captain Sourav
Ganguly make a hundred against us was too much to bear. That is all I have
to say."

.. a very sad day indeed for Zimbabwe cricket ;)

 

 

---

Celebrate

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks
over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks
"I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know
him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that
since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could
celebrate that long.

and some more

*** Tamil Jokes:***
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.
What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

***Sindhi Jokes:***
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big?
Because air is free.

What do you call a god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani.
A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani.

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja.

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani.

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja.

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani.

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani.

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani.

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rin-dani.
A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani.

A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lal-wani.

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani or Primlani.

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani.

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bhulo Bhulchandani.

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani.

A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani.

A Sindhi fly?
Makhija.

A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thad-ani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor?
Mar-jani.

***Gujju Jokes:***

Why does the Gujju go to London?
To see his Big Ben.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass.

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'

What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro STATES ma gayon?"
His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.

Which programs do gujjus couples love to watch on tv? Be-watch
(Baywatch, Be
in gujju is 2)

What do you call a knee less gujju ?
Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)

*** Bengali Jokes:***

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee.

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu.

Bengali who works?
A work of fiction.

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu.

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding


A mad Bengali?
In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli

three wise men

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an 
examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady!  
Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that 
*her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation 
by having sex with a boy.
 
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! 
Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last  
time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men 
came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got 
your daughter pregnant!"

How to make the Olympic Games (good one)

 

How to make the Olympic Games even more interesting in 2008

 

Lawyer

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed
the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and
get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if 
everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one
lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

bad language

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three 
plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was 
saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" 
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this 
is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he 
answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you  
teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother 
asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a 
bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I  
taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.

name them appropriately

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a
puzzled look.

"Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?"

She told him, "Because he was conceived during a
mighty storm." 

Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower?"

She replied, "Well, your father and I were in a
cornfield when we made
her."

"And why is my other sister called Moonchild?" 

"Because we were watching the moon landing while she
was conceived."

Thoughtfully, Mother paused and asked her son, "Tell
me, Broken Rubber,
why
are you so curious?"

God

He said, "God!?"

God responded, "Yes?"

And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?"

"Go right ahead," God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?" 

God said, "a million years to me is only a second."

"Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million 
dollars worth to you?"

God said, "a million dollars to me is as a penny." 

So the man said, "God. can I have a penny?"

And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!.....just a second."

Have you found jesus

An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he 
Comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk 
Into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher  
turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he 
asks the drunk, ''Are you ready to find Jesus?''

The drunk answers, ''Yes, I am.''
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him Up  
and asks the drunk, ''Brother, have you found Jesus?''

The drunk replies, ''No, I haven't found Jesus.''
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again For 
a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and Asks  
again, ''Have you found Jesus, my brother?''

The drunk again answers, ''No, I haven't found Jesus.''
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the 
water again, but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and,when  
he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up. The preacher 
again asks the drunk, ''For the love of God, have you found Jesus?''

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the 
preacher..................... 
.
.
.
''Are you sure this is where he fell in?

some more blondes

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with
dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some 
fun.
He told her just to go home and
blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing 
happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her
roommate, another blonde, came home
and said, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow 
into
the tail pipe in order to get all the
dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like
hello!
You need to roll up the windows first."

some more

Did you hear about the two blondes that froze to death in a drive-in
movie?

They went to see "Closed for the Winter."



---------------------------------------

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1  
out
of every 4 children born in
the world was Chinese.

Koun Banega Crorepathi

A husband and wife are watching T.V. in bed -- "Koun Banega Crorepathi" 
is on.

The husband turns to the wife and says, "Do you want to have sex?"

"Nope." the wife says, not even looking up. 

The husband asks, "Is that your final answer?"

"That's my final answer," she agrees.

He says, "Then I'd like to phone a friend...."

Some more

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 
Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?
 The father replied. œWell son, you must 
have got it from your mother, because I still have mine


 

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, 
and values. Stu said, I did'nt sleep with my wife before we got 
married, did you?” Leroy replied, I not sure, what was her maiden  
name?


Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce 
court Judge said, And I have decided to give your wife $775 a 
week,That's very fair, your honor, the husband said. And every  
now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.


A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is 
feeling. I am O K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor 
used in surgery, he answered. What did he say? asked the nurse.  
OOPS!

here we go

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.


Little Billy is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming 
pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. 
"But everyone pees in the pool," said Billy.
"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"


An old man goes to a gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse he's  
been living with for 40 years. The gypsy says, "Maybe, but you'll have 
to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and  
wife."


Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!