here we go

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.


Little Billy is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming 
pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. 
"But everyone pees in the pool," said Billy.
"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"


An old man goes to a gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse he's  
been living with for 40 years. The gypsy says, "Maybe, but you'll have 
to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and  
wife."


Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!