Santa Singh!

                                                     Homesikh !

Santa, who had been away on an official trip in a small town, got a message from his company that his trip has been prolonged for an extra month.

He was already getting bored with the town. It seemed as if they rolled up the streets and turned out the lights by ten o'clock and over the course of the extra month he was getting very homesick. Finally, he gave in to temptation and visited the local brothel on the outskirts of town.

He entered and handed the madam thousand rupees and requested, "Can you give me the worst performing, most lethargic, disinterested whore in the house."

The madam says, "Well yes, but for this kind of money, you can you can have the best we have if you like."

"No, no," says Santa, "you don't understand, actually I'm not horny, I'm married and just homesick."

ole ones but they make u laugh

 These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things
people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published


by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these


exchanges were actually taking place.


Q: What is your date of birth?


A: July fifteenth.


Q: What year?


A: Every year.


____________________________________________________________________


Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that


morning?


A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"


Q: And why did that upset you?


A: My name is Susan.


____________________________________________________________________


Q: And where was the location of the accident?


A: Approximately milepost 499.


Q: And where is milepost 499?


A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.


____________________________________________________________________


Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't


know about it until the next morning?


____________________________________________________________________


Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


____________________________________________________________________


Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


A: Yes.


Q: And what were you doing at that time?


___________________________________________________________________


Q: She had three children, right?


A: Yes.


Q: How many were boys?


A: None.


Q: Were there any girls?


____________________________________________________________________


Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?


A: Yes.


Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?


____________________________________________________________________


Q: How was your first marriage terminated?


A: By death.


Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


___________________________________________________________________


Q: Can you describe the individual?


A: He was about medium height and had a beard.


Q: Was this a male or a female?


____________________________________________________________________


Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?


A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


____________________________________________________________________


Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?


A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.


Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?


A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


____________________________________________________________________


Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?


A: No.


Q: Did you check for blood pressure?


A: No.


Q: Did you check for breathing?


A: No.


Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the


autopsy?


A: No.


Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?


A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.


Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?


A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
         

bang bang

http://www.uneasysilence.com/archive/2005/12/4860/

photos of the year 2005

http://photos.reuters.com/Pictures/galleries/showcases/showcase_slide.asp?storyID=632702912668906250&urlStr=/pictures/&directory=/configData/Pictures/&edition=US

The Blonde

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50
dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A
short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over,so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

memory problems

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One
lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was
standing at
the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or
was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The
other day,
I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was
going to sleep or had just woken up!" The third lady smiles smugly, "Well,
my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on
the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

Golfer's clueless wife

There was this guy who went golfing every Saturday and Sunday,
it didn't matter what kind of weather it was he was hooked on a round of golf. One Saturday he left the house early and headed for the golf course, but it was so bitter cold that he decided he wouldn't golf that day and went back home. His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took of his clothes and snuggled up to his wife's backside and said "Terrible weather out there." She replied, "Yeah, and can you  believe my stupid husband went golfing?"

19 ways of committing Suicide

ways of commiting Suicide!!!

 

1. This will tear u in pieces … useful during Diwali season ;) …

 

 

 

2. Sometimes it helps to be outrageous …

 

 

 

 

3. Or too outrageous …

 

 

 

 

4. Let mother nature do the needful …

 

 

 

 

5. Sote hue logon se panga le lo  …

 

 

 

 

6. Can Physics be the part of the plan …

 

 

 

 

7. Maut samay pe hi aayegi  … please wait …

 

 

 

 

 

8. How painful … not for me …

 

 

 

 

9. Lalkaar …

 

 

 

 

10. Badi Machli (Shark) ka chaara bano …

 

 

 

 

11. The Lull before the storm …

 

 

 

 

12. Maut at finger tip … rather toe tip …  

 

 

 

 

13. Not applicable in India …  Bahut dimaag lagao …

 

14. You will be electrocuted … if not then definitely fried to death …

 

 

 

 

15. Seasonal offer  …

 

 

 

 

16. If Saurav da is batting, maut will be very fast …

 

 

 

 

 

17. Death in the fast lane  …

 

 

 

 

18.  Aar ya paar …

 

 

 

 

19.  Scientific calculations can lead to meticulous death …

 

 

 

Award winning Photographs.!!

 

   
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
  

 

 

The Indian Mom

THE INDIAN MOM!........ Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal,his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.  She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.  Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking,but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later,Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.  You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote : Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Kumar Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now. Love, Mom. Lesson of the day: Don't Lie to Your Mother...especially if she is Indian!

Driving Liscence form in Bihar

Hello friends,this is the application form to be filled in Bihar to obtain
a Bihar Driving License...
================================================================

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON
PHOROM

------------------------------------------ -----------------------

NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.

He will give you the licen.

If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Misra (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

2. phust name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty  (_) Dont no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of
children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yourj: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leabe blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________
Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :

____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, pleaje do not copy
thumb impression also. Pleaje

provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your
thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht
hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT
THIS

Who's Guilty???

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts:
"Up!!  Quick! My husband is back.

Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts his butt, and then realizes:
"Damn, I'm the husband!"

 Who is guilty in this situation? ? ? ?

YAMARAJ (panchat :):)

MAN WAS SLEEPING IN HIS HOUSE.

SUDDENLY YAMARAJ APPEARED & SAID, "GO OUT & ENJOY. NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU FOR THE
NEXT 10 YEARS."

HE DID SO & MET WITH AN ACCIDENT & DIED.

IN HEAVEN, HE ASKED YAMRAJ, WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME.

YAMRAJ SAID, "SORRY SON, Appraisal time, HAD TO ACHIEVE TARGET."

weep the sidewalks...BANG!!!!!

The power mower was broken and wouldn't run; a lady kept hinting to her
husband that he should get it fixed. But, somehow the message never sank in.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When her husband arrived
home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a
tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went
into the house.

He was gone only a few moments When he came out again, he handed her a
toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass", he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks".

The doctors say he will probably walk again, but he will always limp.

shut up when i drive

A husband comes home after work and finds his wife frying eggs in the kitchen. He walks in and seeing her frying the egg starts yelling,

"CAREFUL ! CAREFUL !! MORE OIL !!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!

WE NEEED MORE OIL!!! HURRY UP! YOU ARE GOING TO STICK THEM!!

CAREFUL! CAREFUL!! TURN THEM! FAST FAST!! TURN THEM NOW !!!

HURRY UP!! ARE YOU CRAZY???? THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL !! YOU

DIDN'T PUT SALT?? ADD SALT NOW !!

The wife is very upset, "Well , what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling, I'm not deaf, and do you think i don't know how to fry an egg?"

The husband calms down and replies smilingly, "This is to show you what it feels like, when i am driving the car and you are sitting next to me."

Tidy Housekeeper

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper.

It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband
called from the hall, somewhat dismayed:


"Honey, what happened to the dust on this table?
I had a phone number written on it."

A for apple

Teacher : say, A for...?

Sardar : Apple

Teacher : jorse bolo........

 

Sardar : "JAI MATA DI"

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the worst answer.

 
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand  motherly, elderly
woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you  know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.I've know you
since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot  when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "
The Lawyer was  stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room  and ! asked,
"Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"
She again  replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was
a youngster,  too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a  normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in  the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
his wife with three  different women, one of them was your wife.  Yes,
I know him."
The  defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach  the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards  asks her if she knows
me, I'll throw you in jail for  contempt."

just.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

now see this

http://www.funtoosh.com/?mclips/play.php?id=m_pep

READ UR OWN LIFE STORY

hi guys & gals......

nice little story...

hav time to read...it......

its quite similar to our life......



A STORY OF AN HR MANAGER:

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources

Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in

heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it

seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a

Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to

do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let

you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever

one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said

the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went

down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green

of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing

in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked

with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They

ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They

played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club

where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she

had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time

that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and

waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found

St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24

hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had

great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came

and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you

must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd

say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a

better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down

back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a

desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were

dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there

was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and

had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends

look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee.."

 

Ex Wife

 

Dear Husband:  I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minut es, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.   P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!  Your EX-Wife   Dear Ex-Wife Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.          I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.   After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.   P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.    Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

FREE Mein DEKHO Bunti Aur Babli..... meri taraf se ek PJ..........

 

 

BUN.....................................................................TEA..........Aur......................BABLI  

Innovative ideas for suicides-NJOY!!

 Innovative ideas for suicides! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mathematical Brilliance ....

Sardar

I was standing at jalandhar station when my attention went towards a Sikh
youth standing near me wearing a Black turban having a long beard and
wearing a kirpan over his shirt looking similar to a terrorist.

After a while, one local train arrived, which was totally packed. The Sikh
youth tried to alight the train but failed to do so. Just then a voice was
heard from the back coach 'Sardarji Barah Baj gaye' (Sir it's 12 o'clock!)

The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young Mischievous
type of person and instead of showing any anger made a smile towards him.

The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of truth lies
behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked towards him and asked
why did he smile at that person who teased him.* **The Sikh youth replied,
'He was not teasing me but was asking for my Help'*. I was surprised with
these words and he told me that there was a big history behind that which
one should know. I was eager to know the History and the Sikh youth
narrated:

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the Hindu
people were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals treated the
Hindu women as there own property and were forcing all Hindus to accept
Islam and even used to kill the people if they were refusing to
accept.Thattime, our ninth Guru, Sri Guru Teg Bahadarji came
forward,in response to a
request of some Kashmir Pandits to fight against all these cruel activities.
Guruji told the Mughal emperor that if he could succeed in converting him to
Islam, all the Hindus would accept the same.

But, if he failed, he should stop all those activities . The Mughal emperor
happily agreed to that but even after lots of torture to Guruji and his
fellow members he failed to convert him to Islam and Guruji along with his
other four fellow members, were tortured and sacrificed their lives in
Chandni Chowk. Since the Mughals were unable to convert them to Islam they
were assassinated.

Thus Guruji sacrificed his life for the protection of Hindu religion. Can
anybody lay down his life and that too for the protection of another
religion? This is the reason he is still remembered* **as "Hind Ki Chaddar"*,
shield of India. For the sake of whom he had sacrificed his life, none of
the them came forward to lift his body, fearing that they would also be
assassinated

Seeing this incident our 10th Guruji, Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru
Teg Bahadarji) founder of khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his
followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves and
could be easily located in thousands. At the start, the Sikhs were very few
in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal emperors. At that time,
Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 and looted Hindustan and was
carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and nearly 2200 Hindu women along with
him. The news spread like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was
the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir
Shah's Kafila on the same midnight. He did so and rescued all the Hindu
women and they were safely sent to their homes.

It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis
had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and
Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army
although fewer in numbers but were brave hearted and attacked them at
midnight,12 O'clock and rescued women.

After that time when there occurred a similar incidence, people started to
contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's
at Midnight, 12 O'clock.* **Nowadays, these "smart people" and some Sikh
enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have spread these words that at 12 O'clock,
the Sikhs **go out of their senses*. This historic fact was the reason which
made me smile over that person as I thought that his Mother or Sister would
be in trouble and wants my help and was reminding me by saying off 'Sardarji
Barah Baj Gaye'

LATEST NEWS FLASH..... Zimbabwe Cricket is history

Reuters News Agency

According to news agencies, the whole Zimbabwean team is going to resign at
the end of the current series. No international cricket will be played by
or in Zimbabwe after the current test series is over. The Zimbabwe Cricket
Union (ZCU) will also be dissolved. Zimbabwean cricket captain Tatenda
Taibu and senior member Heath Streak were unable for comment when contacted
by Reuters. President of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe described the decision to
dissolve ZCU as "a sad day for Zimbabwe cricket". When asked about the
reason for the action, President Mugabe said "It is a great loss for the
country of Zimbabwe. Not only the cricket team, but the entire nation is
demoralized. We could have easily continued playing cricket after losing to
any country in the world, but the shock of watching India's captain Sourav
Ganguly make a hundred against us was too much to bear. That is all I have
to say."

.. a very sad day indeed for Zimbabwe cricket ;)

 

 

---

Celebrate

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks
over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks
"I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know
him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that
since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could
celebrate that long.

and some more

*** Tamil Jokes:***
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.
What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

***Sindhi Jokes:***
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big?
Because air is free.

What do you call a god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani.
A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani.

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja.

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani.

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja.

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani.

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani.

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani.

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rin-dani.
A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani.

A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lal-wani.

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani or Primlani.

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani.

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bhulo Bhulchandani.

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani.

A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani.

A Sindhi fly?
Makhija.

A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thad-ani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor?
Mar-jani.

***Gujju Jokes:***

Why does the Gujju go to London?
To see his Big Ben.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass.

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'

What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro STATES ma gayon?"
His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.

Which programs do gujjus couples love to watch on tv? Be-watch
(Baywatch, Be
in gujju is 2)

What do you call a knee less gujju ?
Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)

*** Bengali Jokes:***

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee.

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu.

Bengali who works?
A work of fiction.

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu.

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding


A mad Bengali?
In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli

three wise men

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an 
examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady!  
Your daughter is pregnant!"

The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that 
*her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation 
by having sex with a boy.
 
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! 
Aren't you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last  
time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men 
came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got 
your daughter pregnant!"

How to make the Olympic Games (good one)

 

How to make the Olympic Games even more interesting in 2008