Married ?

Best on Marriage & Wife! by some Great Personalities and ordinary 
people  



I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must 
be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.  
- David Bissonette

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him 
keep her. 
- Sacha Guitry
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just 
can't face each other, but still they stay together. 
-- Hemant Joshi
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 By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get 
a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. 
-- Socrates
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It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get  
MARRIED!
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A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives 
and the wife takes.
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. 
-- Dumas
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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What  
does a woman want? 
-- Freud
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to 
a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music 
and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." 
- Henry Youngman
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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Sam Kinison
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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than 
electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran
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 "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the 
second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray
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It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get  
married!
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would 
have preferred.

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Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.  
-- Nash
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it 
once..
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My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet 
space.
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. 
-- Henny Youngman 
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. 
Then we met. 
-- Rodney Dangerfield
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's 
wrong. 
-- Milton Berle
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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. 
-- Anonymous
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They
all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive." <-- 
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